Monday, September 18, 2017

Tips For Being a Trans Ally

I can't describe how important having supportive friends are during this process and even after you have been out and living full time for years. Please give this post a read and share this post and any information you can. I'd love to hear about your tips and things you do in the comments section below!

1. Don't out anyone... period
This needs no further information but remember outing not only shows a lack of trust but can affect a persons employment, relationships, family,... the list goes on and on. The general rule is, if the person says it is ok to talk about their transition with others that is one thing, if not then don't.

2. Don't ask what someone's old name was or worse what their "real" name is
Just don't... If a trans person want to volunteer this info let them do so on their own. They are who they are right now. Similarly, avoid asking to see pictures or asking any details about who they were before they transitioned. This also goes for someones genitals. Personally if you are concerned with what I have between my legs be either be on a date that is going well or you are my doctor. Everyone else can bugger off.

3. Don't assume you know a persons sexual identity based on the gender identity
This is one I get a lot actually. people assume a lot that I like men when in fact I identify more as a lesbian. Gender and sexuality are very different!

4. If you do not know someone's gender identity listen to them, ask. 
I am trans, I make mistakes in this regard as well. It is not always cut and dry what pronouns to use when talking. I find the best approach is to listen to them for a bit using their name. If I cannot figure it out through context I ask.

5. Listen and be a friend
Understand that coming out is hard and stressful. It is not an easy thing to do and not the same as coming out as gay, lesbian or bi. Also many trans people experiment with their identity, I know I do. Be patient with them and most important be supportive. Remember there is no right way to transition or present a gender (or no gender). Not ever trans woman is femme and not every trans man is masculine. I for one fluctuate between full on female femme to androgynous even into gender queer maleness.

One other bit of advice that falls under this headline is to avoid giving tips that sound like compliments. Statements like "You look like a real girl" or "I'd never had known", etc. sound supportive but can be taken very badly. Instead tell the person simply that they look nice. Also comments like "When you were..." can be awkward at best. Other phrases that can get tricky include phrases that start with "biological...", and "genetic...". The gist is try to avoid questions and comments that can be construed as invalidating.

6. Help your friends feel included and support their fight for inclusion in public spaces
Even things as trivial as using  public restrooms can be dangerous sometimes for trans people. The best way you can help in this regard is to support our fight for inclusive spaces and non-discrimination laws.

7. Words like "tranny," "shemale," "he-she,", etc...
Just don't use them...

Friday, September 1, 2017

How To Tuck Your Penis

Ok... tucking sucks but the truth is if you are pre or non opt and you want to pass you are going to have to do something to hide your penis. Most women's clothing, even loose fitting clothes to some extent are not designed with extra room in the crotch so hopefully these tips will help make it both more comfortable and less noticeable.

1. Shave

You can tuck without using tape (tight underwear or a gaf) but honestly it never seemed to work well for me. Within an hour or so things just shifted forward and there he was... So, if you are going to use tape (and I suggest you to) definitely shave first. This will help the tape stick better and will also help it come off more comfortably.

2. Know How to Find Your Inguinal Canal

Ever wonder where your testes go when you get cold? Well, they ascend into what is called the inguinal canal and this is where you are going to be tucking your testes. I found it best to lay flat on my back to do this. Gently press your each testicle up into your abdomen. This can be uncomfortable when you first start doing it but shouldn't be painful. If it is slow down and try again. Try taking a cold shower before hand to get things started.

3. Use Sports Tape

Now that the testes are pushed up into place we can tape the penis and scrotum back. I suggest sports tape which can be bought at the local drug store or online. It is designed to go on your skin so that means less irritation! You will need to touch things up so I would keep some in my purse, especially if you need to use the ladies room.

I found an video  that describes what to do so I will just post that below as it is a lot easier than trying to type it all out.

Monday, August 7, 2017

Around the Web - 8/7/2017

More than 50 House Dems urge Mattis to reject transgender military ban

More than 50 House Democrats sent a letter on Friday to Defense Secretary James Mattis and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Joseph Dunford urging the military not to comply with President Donald Trump's proposed ban on transgender people in the armed forces.

Jillian Bearden, first female transgender cyclist to ride in a pro U.S. peloton, emerges as beacon for other trans athletes

Stats on Bearden’s performance before and after hormone therapy bolster case the trans athletes have changed more than their names

Transgender children: Preparing for puberty

For most parents, their child's move to secondary school is a big moment which requires planning, even more so for those with transgender children. The Victoria Derbyshire programme has been following two of the UK's youngest trans children for the last two-and-a-half years.