Tuesday, January 16, 2018

How To Tuck Your Penis

Ok... tucking sucks but the truth is if you are pre or non opt and you want to pass you are going to have to do something to hide your penis. Most women's clothing, even loose fitting clothes to some extent are not designed with extra room in the crotch so hopefully these tips will help make it both more comfortable and less noticeable.

1. Shave

You can tuck without using tape (tight underwear or a gaf) but honestly it never seemed to work well for me. Within an hour or so things just shifted forward and there he was... So, if you are going to use tape (and I suggest you to) definitely shave first. This will help the tape stick better and will also help it come off more comfortably.

2. Know How to Find Your Inguinal Canal

Ever wonder where your testes go when you get cold? Well, they ascend into what is called the inguinal canal and this is where you are going to be tucking your testes. I found it best to lay flat on my back to do this. Gently press your each testicle up into your abdomen. This can be uncomfortable when you first start doing it but shouldn't be painful. If it is slow down and try again. Try taking a cold shower before hand to get things started.

3. Use Sports Tape

Now that the testes are pushed up into place we can tape the penis and scrotum back. I suggest sports tape which can be bought at the local drug store or online. It is designed to go on your skin so that means less irritation! You will need to touch things up so I would keep some in my purse, especially if you need to use the ladies room.

I found an video  that describes what to do so I will just post that below as it is a lot easier than trying to type it all out.

Friday, January 12, 2018

Help Find Clothes That Fit (MTF and FTM)

As a trans person it can become very frustrating when trying to find clothing that both fit and look flattering on your body. I want to point out right at the beginning of this article that you should be comfortable in what you choose to wear. There is no need to feel that you must look or dress a certain way. That being said how you look goes a long way towards how others see you (and treat you). While I have tried to make this post useful for both trans men and women it was originally written in a way that is geared towards trans women. I also want to point out that I do have articles for trans women on tucking, and for trans men I have an article about breast binding. Both are things that are somewhat classified as necessary evils to "pass" (I still hate that word).

As for the how tos, for me the best thing to do was to do a little bit or research. I found the key is that once you understand your body shape it is pretty easy to find the resources to learn how to look and feel your best! There are a lot of clothes that fit and look good on all kinds of body types and there are all kinds of tips you can use... You just have to know where to start, and that is finding your shape.

The basic body shapes are:

Want some suggestions (MTF)?

I have put together (and will continue to add) some suggested outfit posts... Although this may just be a way for me to share some style related posts :)

Get the suggestions
Hour Glass
People with hour glass figures have a defined waist with their hips and bust being roughly the same size with their waist being well defined. This is a pretty natural feminine shape and is difficult to replicate.

People with a pear shape will have full hips and thighs with a defined waist. Their shoulders and bust will be smaller than their hips. Woman with pear shaped bodies generally want to pull attention up and away from the hips. Men on the other hand may want to attempt to draw attention up to their shoulders / chest.

People with apple shaped bodies have an fuller undefined waist with average to average busts. They will typically have a wider back, flatter bum, and smaller arms and legs. For trans women, the object here is to draw attention away from the mid section and towards the bust and / or legs.

Inverted Triangle
People with this shape have broader shoulders than hips. Their will be little difference between waist and hip size. This and apple seems to be the body shape I have noticed most commonly among trans women. The goal here for trans women is to minimize the shoulders / bust while accentuating the hips. For trans men you will want to minimize the breasts as much as possible.

People with this figure have no real definition. This is also called the "Boy Shape" but this is misleading. This does not equate to "man shaped". People with this shape have narrow shoulders, a small bust, a poorly defined waist, and little to no hip definition. The goal here is to give the body some kind of shape.

Advice for finding clothes that fit

As far as basic general advice for trans women I can offer the following:
  • Bootcut pants and jeans are your friend. They look good on everyone.
  • Flared skirts and dresses are great for most shapes where we want to accentuate the hips and create a waist.
  • Women's buttons up shirts fit close to the waist or flare out at the hips.
  • Dark colors help to minimize, lighter colors accentuate. To pull attention down try a light colored skirt with a darker top.
  • Belts might help to create a waist. I don't mean wear one as tight as possible... I mean having one on that fits at or around the belly button might help. Also, if you have an apple body shape belts may be a bad idea, especially wider ones.
  • Tight fitting clothes (especially on top) only accents the masculine form. (Think cute guy in a tight t-shirt).  Generally we want structure without the material being to clingy.
For trans men:
  • Slim - straight cut and flat fronted pants will help minimize the appearance of your hips. Avoid super tight (and super loose) pants as they can accentuate curves.
  • Well fitted (but not super tight) structured button up shirts are your friend. Note that mens shirts do not fit close to the waist or flare out at the hips.
  • Non symmetrical patterns can help camouflage your chest.
  • Plaid may make you look masculine but not like you are looking for?
  • Vests!
Below are some additional highlights and links to more in depth articles on specific topics we as trans women may run into. I would love suggestions for trans men as well! Feel free to comment below!

Broad Shoulders

This is a particularly common problem with trans women. Luckily there are a number of neck line (particularly V-Necks) and sleeve options to help minimize broad shoulders. Please check out my article on this. Also, dark colors really help... Bright flowery patterns generally do not.

Narrow Hips

This is another problem with many trans women... Like I said above, boot cut pants are great here as the add bulk lower on the leg. Also flared skirts are great. I find what works best for me is a light colored flared skirt with a dark v neck.

Unfortunately pencil skirts are hard to pull off with very narrow hips and wide shoulders but I do have a post with some tips to finding a pencil skirt that does actually fit. The problem usually is the skirt will fit your wasit but be way to big in the hips. One option is to always have your skirt tailored. You should avoid shopping for skirts that fit your hips and force your waist to suck in to much as this will make you look very barrel chested.

Additionally you could also buy some butt padding. This may sound silly but they do work and they are quite popular even among cis women.

Shoes and Boots

Like many women a lot of trans women gravitate towards cute shoes cause well... They are cute. I certainly can relate. I will warn that you should learn to walk in heels if you plan on wearing them... Preferably before you even buy a pair. Also, don't worry to much about your shoe size. If you have larger feet you may need to order your shoes but a lot of cis women are in the same boat.

One other problem I have always had in this area as well is finding boots. Most boot shafts are designed to accommodate wider calfs. Finding boots to fit more narrow calfs can be challenging but it is not impossible. Again, you could if you have the money have a pair made special for you.

More on Dressing Your Body Shapes

Shop Your Shape - To be honest I wouldn't "shop" from this site (mainly I like to try things on) but there are some wonderful tools. Just plug in your measurements and they will not only give you an explanation of your body shape but also what styles of clothing will look most flattering. Once your shape is calculated they give you information and suggestions including what kind of shirt sleeves look best on you, what types of pants look flattering and what style skirts look best!

On a side note: I promise I will learn how to spell!

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Get Rid of That 5 O'Clock Shadow

Trans women and some cis men seem to have at least one thing in common... The pesky 5 o'clock shadow. I have put together some tips below that I have learned to give you all some advice on different ways you can get rid of or at least minimize it. While this is written fro trans women the advice will work for anyone needing a close clean shave :)

As for facial hair, I personally find nothing more frustrating, and in many cases nothing that will get us read more, than this. Fortunately I have a few great tips for getting rid of it!

Get a Close Shave

This may sound like a no brainier but really, do everything you can to get a very close shave. No attempt to hide your shadow will work if you have stubble sticking up through your makeup!

Ok, so how do you get a close shave... Here are some tips and advice:
  1. Use a new razor. I like the Mach 3 (My personal go to, especially for my legs!).
  2. Steam your face for a few minutes with a hot face cloth to soften the hairs.
  3. Use a good shaving cream (this is actually far more important that you think) and apply it with a shaving cream brush... This alone helps dramatically! And ladies, don't shy away from using men's shaving tools here. Using a shaving brush helps lift the hairs to get a closer shave! In fact, I guarantee that shadow is far more stubborn that your pride!
  4. Lastly, shave in angles, not straight down. This helps to cut the hairs instead of pulling them. The less irritation you have the closer you can shave.

Use Makeup to Camouflage Your 5 O'Clock Shadow, Not Just to Cover It Up

The problem with using makeup to cover your 5 o'clock shadow is that most people don't realize that the area where your shadow is takes on a blue / grey hue and is dramatically different in color then the rest of your face. Now, if you just take concealer or foundation that matches your normal skin tone and try to use it to cover this area you will almost always end up making the shadow area lighter then the surrounding skin and it ends up standing out even more then before you started! So if this doesn't work, what can you do?

Well, instead of caking on the makeup and praying no one notices, try to counteract the blue hue of the beard growth by adding a bit of red over top of it.

To do this dab a bit of matte red lipstick on the areas that are where you have a shadow: your upper lip, chin, cheeks and maybe even your neck. Now blend it in well! Note that this will not be perfect, especially for people who have had little to no permanent hair removal, but most people can get it pretty darn close! Lastly, make sure you avoid getting the red on the areas that do not have any hair growth!

Now once you even out the coloring of your skin you should be able to just apply a normal amount of foundation and be done. No caked on concealer!

I will warn that this does take a lot of practice to get right but once you get it down it works great! You will not regret taking the time to get it right, just remember that the key is to get a good balance between the blue undertones and the red makeup... To much red and you look like you have a sunburn, to little and it doesn't work.

Now I understand this sounds simpler then it is but I have to stress that it really does work and is worth the practice. The alternative method of caking on concealer in an attempt to cover the shadow never works... EVER!

On a last note here I would love to have someone share a technique for African American skin tones as this is very much geared towards lighter skin.

Permanent Hair Removal

Of course you could also opt for having the hair permanently removed. Note that this is painful, time consuming, and expensive (in the long run maybe more expensive than SRS). I have had a lot of laser hair removal and electrolysis and I am still not done. For more information on this option, see my article on permanent hair removal.