Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Personal Post #345

There is so much going on in my life right now. I am starting to see some progress in my savings. I am also going to start back up with my hair removal... There is more but I want to wait until after I get back from my vacation net week to really talk about that!

Anyway... I have been reading other peoples blogs (as I do often) and have noticed a few recent articles regarding pronouns. I am not sure if I have posted this before but this is one of the two things that really make me upset. One way to almost gurentee making me upset (response varies on the context) is if someone deliberately calls me "he" or "him" and especially when they use my birth name.

A lot of people feel the way I do and a lot of people can let it roll right off their back. Still to me, it is insulting and malicious. I for the life of me cannot understand why someone who has never met me looking anything like a man would suddenly pull the "You have to understand..." BS excuse. On the other hand I can understand in some situations, such as my sister who sometimes says "he" or "brother" without thinking about it but then profusely apologizes. Still this is a person who knew me much better as a man then a woman. In this instance I find myself cutting her some slack, but I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt. I can't help wondering though as time goes on if she is even trying to fix it... At what point is this no longer a mix up?

Anyway, what is your opinions on this topic? Does it bother you when people use the wrong pronouns? Do you feel it is deliberate or can it truly be an accident sometimes? Why do you think we a trans people are so hyper aware of the pronouns people use when referring to us?

1 comment:

Stace said...

I had a discussion with my therapist a couple of weeks ago on this. I have not been going out that often and so it has only happened to me the once... I'm a very shy person and as much as it bothered me I let it slide (which caused numerous issues the next day as my brain got back at me).

Anyway... My therapist has one view on this. It's rude to mis-gender someone when they are presenting in a certain way. And you should always quietly, politely but strongly inform them that they got it wrong and ask them to try again.

He also said you are not going to get the confidence for this overnight...