Friday, November 1, 2013

When Does It All End?

So the word transition., it means changing from one state to another right. So when does transition end? If only that was an easy question to answer. The truth is everyone is in some form of transition. It doesn't matter if it is their gender identity, their cultural identity, or their political, ethical, social, marital... The list goes on and on. We call our journey a transition as if it is different than what others experience but deep down is it? Yes, the circumstances are unique and what we go through is person but there are millions of ways in which people transition from one place in their lives to another.

I am not trying to minify what we experience just thinking about perspective and what transition means to me. I've tried to view this as an internal transition from once phase of my life to another. That is why I feel that transitions like ours don't really ever end, they simply transform. I have gone from living as a married man to a married woman... From their to living as a single woman in a new city. From here who knows.

I for one wouldn't want to wake up tomorrow knowing I am exactly the person I want to be. What a dismal existence that would be, to no long have anything to push for, to strive towards. Instead I embrace my evolution. I have come so long since coming out as transsexual and continue to grow. I think it is important to look before my transition to the events and life I lived before I came out. All of this shaped me into who I am. It has been hard for sure, all of it.

It has been 5 years now (2 since surgery), and I have ran the gamut from masculine, feminine, both and neither... I've found support in unlikely places, and rejection in others but I have pushed through. I don't know where I will end up and that is kind of exciting to me. All I know is that allowing myself the opportunity to be myself, every version of myself (even some I have not liked so much), has been a wonderful experience.

What are your feelings on this? Do you see transition as a strict timeline that is tied to your gender? Do you have specific goals or milestones? If you do, where do you go after you reach those goals?


Stace said...

I would say that transition has a start and and end, where the start is I am not sure. Is it when I first went to the therapists office as me? Or is it when I started to live full time as me? Who knows...

As for the when it ends. When I am recovered from surgery I will class my transition as ended. But that doesn't mean the growth of me as a person ends - as you say that is something that doesn't stop. But if transition carried on until I stopped then it would be the defining thing about me, and that is something that I have always tried to stop. The fact that I am trans is a little thing about me. I'm also a spouse, soon to be a parent. I'm part of a team trying to improve the insurance world by opening it up and making the companies be transparent. I'm a motor-racing fan, a motorbike rider. I'm a prolific(ish) reader, and love collecting books. I'm a geek! I'm a fan of all sorts of music, but only for the music itself - I'm no expert on any band. And love almost all forms of music (giving a wonderfully eclectic collection of CDs in the house!). I'm a runner, but not one that takes it too seriously - I run for me not to win races.

And many other things - my transition is a temporary thing in my life, and I would hate for it to be the defining thing :)


Megan Wesley said...

Transition, to me, is "over" when you deem it to be so... when you can look at yourself, realistically, and declare that you're happy with your transition. It's a little different than normal life transitions, most people accept others' transitions because they are socially normal -- a career change is a stark difference from our gender dysphoria.

And all of that, still, is different from daily transition. So, while life is definitely a series of transitions, ours is unique because so few people do it. Plus so few people can relate, even though trying to openly be yourself should be admirable.

Katherine said...

I 100% agree. I am many things, being transgender is only part of it.

Katherine said...

I guess your use of the word "normal" is what is throwing me. What constitutes a "normal" transition? There is no doubt that we all change but I think we all have something or some period of time when we go down a path that no one relates to us. People change religions, people move from one country to a completely alien culture.